Tila is like a shaved squirrel or an animated, sessy female squirrel lounge singer from Toontown or Cool World that Tex Avery wolves in zoot suits chase around and she's come over to our side of reality ( t.v.) and is like flesh and blood now. This show is Satanic — which — is why I like it. Straight bros and lesbian birds vie for Tila's evil affections and one-on-one, devil make-out sessions. There's this one bird who's always. always. showing her butt (Actually, there's a bunch of girls who strut around in revealing bikini bottoms. I'm all "Dass her butt!" like every frickin' minute, so much I say it that I get tired of saying it and I'm all (monotone voice) "Yo ... dass, like ... y'know ... her butt ... " by the end of the show. The show should be called "A Shot(s) of Girls Butts"). Anyway, it was awesome when the one bird Brandi (Mortgage Consultant) is lamenting the fact that she hasn't been able to "verse her outer image" to demoness Tila. And it was awesome when the dude Ashley (Elementary School Teacher) from West Virginia has a total meltdown when Tila speaks those absolute words while the fire spews from cracks in the earth and blood runs down the walls and her hair is blowing around like there's a fan off camera blowing at her: "Your shot at love is over" (Like, over? forever?); and he takes on the entire rest of the cast in a Ultimate Fighting-style rumble sending one douchebag to an ambulance and he's all outside pushing over potted plants and yelling "Tila! Tila!", banging on the window, and doing some aggressive pouting down the driveway, turning, "Bring me Bobby! You want some?!", with the fury, and punching leaves of plants that line the driveway. Hail the Dark Lord in his majesty.
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